Dollhouse: The Sound of Deflation

The following is done while half-knackered and breathing relief that the latest round of tests on the impending arrival have gone ok. Forgive the rambling.

It is extremely difficult to approach anything by Joss Whedon without it being in context. When Dollhouse was first announced my excitement was barely containable for a number of reasons.
Reason 1:

My favourite series of all time, it still blows me away due to the sheer ballsiness that it exuded consistently. The first season was somewhat rough around the edges, but by the second season, Buffy was unmissable television with intelligent scripts developing absorbing characters that linger to this day. Only on Buffy could a relationship like Willow and Oz's be so joyful, tender and fragile and yet still have me rooting for Willow and Tara shortly after.

Reason 2:
A spin-off of Buffy, Angel was originally the darker side of the Buffyverse that had a first season which, though rocky at times, was sporadically excellent (I Will Remember You, To Shanshu in L.A.). In its 5th season Angel was near to the quality of Buffy at its best, containing genuine hilarity (Angel and Spike's married bickering), heart-wrenching tragedy ("Two words: Winifred Burkle") and though it was cancelled prematurely, it has as perfect an end to a series that you could wish for.

Reason 3:
I remember watching Firefly (we got it in the correct order unlike the US audience, us crazy Brits) and each week I felt a mixture of awe and horror that something that was so mesmerising from the first minute could become better each episode and yet have already been cancelled.
Containing the same friction of a dysfunctional family that the ensemble casts of Buffy and Angel contained at their most effective, Firefly was funny, inventive, exciting and as intelligent as anything else on television.
No wonder Fox killed it.
It also made Nathan Fillion the geek-God he is today, I'll even watch Castle just to see him being goofy and it looks pretty bloody awful.

Reason 4:

When Joss Whedon took over on my once-favourite example of popular culture, I was similarly as excited for it as I was for Dollhouse (I'm getting to it I promise). My expectations were exceeded as Whedon displayed a complete understanding of the characters and used a classic interpretation of them in their prime to tell new stories. Whedon effortlessly incorporated a flair for character beats that were simple yet startling (Wolverine and the beer can, Colossus returns, Cyclops no longer a whiny bitch).
If you ever read an X-Men story, read the Astonishing X-Men hardcover collection not written by Warren Ellis and drawn by Simone Bianchi (utter shite).

Throw in some Dr. Horrible and you see that Joss Whedon has been my favourite figure in pop-culture for a long time.

We'll varnish that floor for $29.95!

With such an impressive record, one cannot be surprised that I was so looking forward to the premiere of Dollhouse, even if it was with the terror that something fantastic was going to be murdered by Fox.
The move to Friday nights was a warning as I grimaced over in my previous post along with the awful promotion Fox was pushing. Rumours of executives interfering and requesting rewrites and reshoots were also worrying but still, this is Joss "Buffy,Angel, Firefly" Whedon we're talking about. Firefly had the same problems but what was made was still fantastic.
So as I moved further from the edge of my chair to a resigned and reclined position last Friday, I could almost hear the sound of a balloon slowly deflating in my head.

Dollhouse may still turn out to be excellent television, but the first episode certainly wasn't indicative of that.
Eliza Dushku has a fabulous arse, there is no doubt about it, it is well-proportioned, toned and firm. In the first five minutes we pretty much got to see this arse in its entirety but that was as exciting as things got.
I suppose the biggest indictment of the first episode is that it was just so bloody ordinary. The ideas were interesting but the flair wasn't there, I can remember no witticisms or touches of class, while the conceit of the show killed the dramatic tension of the main plot.
Echo (Dushku) is imprinted with the brain patterns of a number of hostage negotiators in order to assist a billionaire in the return of his kidnapped daughter. In the process of the exchange, Echo recognises one of the kidnappers as a child molester who raped one of the people who formed the mental template for Echo.
Echo falls to the ground in an asthma attack (apparently the mental engrams produce Matrix-style physical consequences, though that isn't how Dr. Babble explained it), panicking in the realisation that she is face to face with her worst nightmare and fully knowing that the child will be killed.
The problem with the situation is that the audience knows she never actually met the bastard, she only thinks she did, so our sympathy for her is disconnected, the bravery needed to walk into the hideout comes from whom? Echo or a programmed consciousness?
Can you cheer on a well-proportioned flesh robot who isn't acting of her own accord?
Of course we are meant to feel satisfaction that the memories of a dead woman find victory and closure in facing her worst fears, but I didn't. This may be as when Echo has not got the personality of someone else she reverts to child-mode. In Dushku's case this means staring off blankly and tilting her head.

I'd be happier if my feet weren't so friggin' cold.

When the lithe figure of Sierra (Dichen Lachman), a new operative of the Dollhouse, burst through the door to save the day, it made me realise just how much of a schism there has been between what Dushku's character has been built up to be and what she is in this first episode.
Instead of the promised arse-kicking excitement, we were given ponderous exposition. I remember the first episode of Angel when the character of Doyle is used to tell the audience what has happened. It was clunky but forgiveable, yet in the premiere of Dollhouse absolutely everyone vomits swathes of exposition.
Consistently we are told things instead of having them shown to us, which I hear is only usually done in radio.

I pout, therefore I am.

Having a series built as a vehicle for Eliza Dushku to show her range of character acting is in itself a fraught premise. In Buffy and Angel her range was to switch from annoyingly confused to to pouting more than Keira Knightley on a red carpet.
Though in the main Dushku does ok, the introductory piece of exposition in which The-Person About-To-Be-Known-As-Echo talks about the terrible things she has done without saying what they were (tune in kids) is risible. Dushku paces around a lot and holds her hand to her head because being frantic isn't easy. The Joey Tribiani school of acting works wonders. The show needs to put her on familiar territory quickly and play to her strengths if she isn't able to play her sultry Joe 90 to better effect.

The supporting cast's quality is very hit and miss.
The ever-reliable Harry Lennix plays Boyd who is (repeatedly) said to be new to the mysterious operation and seems to care too much about Echo, who he is meant to handle and back up on her engagements. The vast majority of the empathy for Echo is channelled through Boyd and Lennix does a good job of being the father-figure who is uneasy in his role.





Olivia Williams plays Adelle De Witt (rhymes with...) the head of Dollhouse. Her forehead is stamped with the words "Ice Queen" which amazingly fails to make it more obvious or trite. I think her look of constipation is meant to be aloofness and composure but I could be wrong, she may just really need a balti.

Even a genius finds matching trainers to shirts difficult.

Fran Kanz plays Topher, the young, possibly evil genius who gives all of the technobabble exposition. He is very enthusiastic about what the Dollhouse tech can do while not giving much of a crap about the humanity. Kind of a Werner Heisenberg in comfortable shoes.


Laurence Dominic (Reed Diamond) is De Witt's right-hand man and attack dog, he keeps Boyd in order with his mean, analytical dipshittery. Diamond is astoundingly bad, stiff and unconvincing as he poses in mean guy mode. At one point he grabs Boyd's arm in what was meant to be a threatening and domineering manner but instead he looked like someone pleading not to have the shit kicked out of him.
Thamoh Penikett plays Fox Mulder, an agent who is unable to stop his relentless pursuit of the mysterious Dollhouse even when chided by his superiors. Fox is tall and angular with a sculpted six-pack and has a mean high-kick when using a steroid-junky as an allegory for never quitting.


It is difficult to explain how a show with the pedigree of those involved could have a premiere that is so uninspired.
It would be easy to point at interference from the suits upstairs and there is certainly a sense of that in play, but it is almost like watching Spider-Man 3.
Now don't get me wrong, the first episode of Dollhouse is by no means as execrable as Spider-Man 3, but the same sense of someone purposefully making what he has been told to make in order to show how crappy the idea is to begin with seems evident.

I can almost see Joss Whedon thinking "You want a by the numbers opener? I'll give you a damn by the numbers opener! How many over-over-2 shots can you take?" while pointing like an evil monkey.

Venom? I'll give you venom!

Most likely though I am making excuses for someone I hold in very high regard. This was simply not a good example of television from someone who is usually excellent.
We all make mistakes, hopefully the rest of Dollhouse's first season rectifies this one.

Shatner Speak

So the Bionic Woman rears its pasty head again and for some reason I find myself compelled to watch.

This week I will break my review down into a more managable size.

Miguel Ferrer wants to go home now.

Michelle Ryan struggles to act, run or blink in a manner which makes one believe there is something worth sticking around for.

Katie Sackhoff could be a champion gurner and I'm pretty sure the director is shouting "Bigger!" at her with every scene.

Homophobe Man carries on being awful at every turn and his character does utterly incredulous things to move the story on and show he is willing to think outside the box. Unfortunately the box is marked "Competent".

At least there was some action. Really bad action. If you thought Beast flying through the air in X-Men 3: Murder of a Franchise was graceful then even your cataracts won't hide the amateurish jumping effects used in last night's Bionic Woman.

Nicholas Hammond would have pointed and laughed.

The revelation was that the implants leave our bionic lass with 5 years to live. I think the showrunners have an optimism that should be applauded.

Then again, Charmed lasted forever.

Can't...take...muchmoreofthis.

Shoot the Scriptwriter, Save The Series

Ahh Heroes, here we are again, still the awkward exposition, the clumsy acting and the head scratching plot holes that were evident in season 1. Such a shame that the cliffhangers and fun didn't return.

Lets do a rundown of the movers and shakers of season 2, spoilers included.

The Bennets

Noah (HRG as he is also known) is working a menial job in order to keep his profile low, he tried to play nice but his moronic boss annoyed him so a finger lock and a talking-to later and he takes a coffee break whenever he damn well wants to.

Some might wonder why Noah isn't just keeping completely out of sight, particularly as he can apparently afford a shiny new Nissan (got to keep the show sponsors happy) for his perky daughter Wolverine.

Noah is the sly spy as ever and has plans to bring down his former employers from the inside, but there is a snag. One of the 8 remaining paintings of the future has Noah's horn rimmed glasses shattered by a bullet hole with him still wearing them. Save the HRG save the world?

Claire is trying to not bring attention to herself by never answering a question in class and avoiding any sort of social interaction. Just like any normal High School kid. Perhaps the next part of her brilliant strategy will involve wearing a black trenchcoat and muttering about hunting season in the cafeteria.
Fortunately for her, a foppish rebel with his own secret (he can fly, like Nathan, apparently they ran out of new powers), pretends to be an infinitely boring version of Christian Slater in Heathers and takes a shine to her and floats outside her window gazing at her from afar.
Some would call this creepy (and reminiscent of Superman Returns) but no, he's just smitten and he forces Claire to admit to her power and they go and fly around a bit and kiss in a non-threatening manner.
Last season Claire was destined to die. This season she is destined to have a clumsily brief entry into the Mile High Club.
Their burgeoning relationship is threatened though as it turns out the boy that Claire could give a flying f@#! for has had a run in with HRG in the past. Riveting.

The Petrellis

Nathan Petrelli wonders around drunk sporting a huge beard while wearing suede and talking to a grizzly bear called Ben, who is his friend and they go on adventures. He mutters about how he survived the giant explosion he heroically sacrificed himself for but we all stick our fingers in our ears and try to forget that episode ever happened.

Peter Petrelli is being attacked by a viciously stupid amnesia plot and some even more ferocious accents. Begorrah. He has kept all of his powers except for his ability to keep a shirt on.

Their Mom has been marked for death and may join Sulu in leaving the Titanic when the waters got chilly.

Matt and Mohinder

Matt and Mohinder try to raise Molly Plot De La Device as she struggles with nightmares and visions of this season's villain. She also struggles with being convincing when speaking but she's young, let's not dwell.
Matt thinks he is now Jackie Chan in Super Cop while more closely resembling Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz.
Mohinder is in league with Noah in trying to take down the organisation he now works for. He gets inside the belly of the beast as his own blood is the only cure for the deadly plague killing people with powers (for more see the Legacy Virus story in Uncanny X-Men throughout the 90s).
Brilliantly, he keeps in contact with Noah on a standard mobile phone that he even uses at the evil company's own buildings. They'll never figure out what is going on, or where Noah is or even shoot him in the eye in the near future.

Last Year's Popular Character

Hiro is in Japan in the 1600s forcing an English Wolverine (not the Cheerleader Wolverine, easy to confuse, but theres a new powers drought going on) into becoming the hero he idolised as he listened to profoundly dull stories as a child.
He sends messages to his friend Ando by placing them in Kensei's sword hilt. Fortunately noone in the ensuing 400 years bothers to look at the bottom of the sword's handle which reads "Open This Ando, Not Anyone Else Please"*.
Hiro makes us all feel like true heroes as while he can travel back in time we can see the future with amazingly obvious clarity.
He also sends us back in time to an age when Comics didn't have a recap page and we had to suffer through 4 pages of annoying exposition every single issue.

The Dynamic Duo

Maya and Alejandro Herrera desperately scramble to the United States to use the fantastic health system ( sorry couldn't resist) and find a cure for Maya's deadly power which makes her cry black toxic tears that kill all around her in a devastatingly uninteresting way. Next week they reach the border and find their ultimate enemy: Robo-Romney and his appeal-to-the-base immigration policy.

Scary Spice

Sylar is in the middle of a jungle, recovering from a gut wound which somehow made him lose all the powers he has learned. He discovers that after murdering Illusion Girl he can't use her abilities either. The audience discovers this all seems far too convenient to take seriously.

The Sanders

Niki drops Micah off with Uhura so she can do a job for The Company as they have promised to cure her of the Legacy Virus. Noone cares.

Micah is upset at leaving Las Vegas as his father D.L. Shadowcat is there, underneath 6 feet of dirt and a tasteful headstone. Niki tells Micah whenever he wants to visit with Dad she will make it happen. Hopefully this isn't a death threat.


So that is how things stand 3 episodes into the 2nd season and apparently the viewership is shrinking quicker than The Atom in a cold shower.

This cannot be a surprise to many people as there just isn't anything to get excited about so far and a lot of each episode seems to be filler, putting the characters out of each others' way until they can come back together again and have a communal letdown like last season.
The tension has palpably slackened and a lot of the glaring faults of season 1 are starting to become the only things to judge the second season on.
The second story arc needs to pick up faster than a speeding bullet.


Look, up in the sky! Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

No, it's Kristin Bell!

Save us Veronica Mars, save us!

*Translated from the Japanese and ludicrous.