Dollhouse: The Sound of Deflation

The following is done while half-knackered and breathing relief that the latest round of tests on the impending arrival have gone ok. Forgive the rambling.

It is extremely difficult to approach anything by Joss Whedon without it being in context. When Dollhouse was first announced my excitement was barely containable for a number of reasons.
Reason 1:

My favourite series of all time, it still blows me away due to the sheer ballsiness that it exuded consistently. The first season was somewhat rough around the edges, but by the second season, Buffy was unmissable television with intelligent scripts developing absorbing characters that linger to this day. Only on Buffy could a relationship like Willow and Oz's be so joyful, tender and fragile and yet still have me rooting for Willow and Tara shortly after.

Reason 2:
A spin-off of Buffy, Angel was originally the darker side of the Buffyverse that had a first season which, though rocky at times, was sporadically excellent (I Will Remember You, To Shanshu in L.A.). In its 5th season Angel was near to the quality of Buffy at its best, containing genuine hilarity (Angel and Spike's married bickering), heart-wrenching tragedy ("Two words: Winifred Burkle") and though it was cancelled prematurely, it has as perfect an end to a series that you could wish for.

Reason 3:
I remember watching Firefly (we got it in the correct order unlike the US audience, us crazy Brits) and each week I felt a mixture of awe and horror that something that was so mesmerising from the first minute could become better each episode and yet have already been cancelled.
Containing the same friction of a dysfunctional family that the ensemble casts of Buffy and Angel contained at their most effective, Firefly was funny, inventive, exciting and as intelligent as anything else on television.
No wonder Fox killed it.
It also made Nathan Fillion the geek-God he is today, I'll even watch Castle just to see him being goofy and it looks pretty bloody awful.

Reason 4:

When Joss Whedon took over on my once-favourite example of popular culture, I was similarly as excited for it as I was for Dollhouse (I'm getting to it I promise). My expectations were exceeded as Whedon displayed a complete understanding of the characters and used a classic interpretation of them in their prime to tell new stories. Whedon effortlessly incorporated a flair for character beats that were simple yet startling (Wolverine and the beer can, Colossus returns, Cyclops no longer a whiny bitch).
If you ever read an X-Men story, read the Astonishing X-Men hardcover collection not written by Warren Ellis and drawn by Simone Bianchi (utter shite).

Throw in some Dr. Horrible and you see that Joss Whedon has been my favourite figure in pop-culture for a long time.

We'll varnish that floor for $29.95!

With such an impressive record, one cannot be surprised that I was so looking forward to the premiere of Dollhouse, even if it was with the terror that something fantastic was going to be murdered by Fox.
The move to Friday nights was a warning as I grimaced over in my previous post along with the awful promotion Fox was pushing. Rumours of executives interfering and requesting rewrites and reshoots were also worrying but still, this is Joss "Buffy,Angel, Firefly" Whedon we're talking about. Firefly had the same problems but what was made was still fantastic.
So as I moved further from the edge of my chair to a resigned and reclined position last Friday, I could almost hear the sound of a balloon slowly deflating in my head.

Dollhouse may still turn out to be excellent television, but the first episode certainly wasn't indicative of that.
Eliza Dushku has a fabulous arse, there is no doubt about it, it is well-proportioned, toned and firm. In the first five minutes we pretty much got to see this arse in its entirety but that was as exciting as things got.
I suppose the biggest indictment of the first episode is that it was just so bloody ordinary. The ideas were interesting but the flair wasn't there, I can remember no witticisms or touches of class, while the conceit of the show killed the dramatic tension of the main plot.
Echo (Dushku) is imprinted with the brain patterns of a number of hostage negotiators in order to assist a billionaire in the return of his kidnapped daughter. In the process of the exchange, Echo recognises one of the kidnappers as a child molester who raped one of the people who formed the mental template for Echo.
Echo falls to the ground in an asthma attack (apparently the mental engrams produce Matrix-style physical consequences, though that isn't how Dr. Babble explained it), panicking in the realisation that she is face to face with her worst nightmare and fully knowing that the child will be killed.
The problem with the situation is that the audience knows she never actually met the bastard, she only thinks she did, so our sympathy for her is disconnected, the bravery needed to walk into the hideout comes from whom? Echo or a programmed consciousness?
Can you cheer on a well-proportioned flesh robot who isn't acting of her own accord?
Of course we are meant to feel satisfaction that the memories of a dead woman find victory and closure in facing her worst fears, but I didn't. This may be as when Echo has not got the personality of someone else she reverts to child-mode. In Dushku's case this means staring off blankly and tilting her head.

I'd be happier if my feet weren't so friggin' cold.

When the lithe figure of Sierra (Dichen Lachman), a new operative of the Dollhouse, burst through the door to save the day, it made me realise just how much of a schism there has been between what Dushku's character has been built up to be and what she is in this first episode.
Instead of the promised arse-kicking excitement, we were given ponderous exposition. I remember the first episode of Angel when the character of Doyle is used to tell the audience what has happened. It was clunky but forgiveable, yet in the premiere of Dollhouse absolutely everyone vomits swathes of exposition.
Consistently we are told things instead of having them shown to us, which I hear is only usually done in radio.

I pout, therefore I am.

Having a series built as a vehicle for Eliza Dushku to show her range of character acting is in itself a fraught premise. In Buffy and Angel her range was to switch from annoyingly confused to to pouting more than Keira Knightley on a red carpet.
Though in the main Dushku does ok, the introductory piece of exposition in which The-Person About-To-Be-Known-As-Echo talks about the terrible things she has done without saying what they were (tune in kids) is risible. Dushku paces around a lot and holds her hand to her head because being frantic isn't easy. The Joey Tribiani school of acting works wonders. The show needs to put her on familiar territory quickly and play to her strengths if she isn't able to play her sultry Joe 90 to better effect.

The supporting cast's quality is very hit and miss.
The ever-reliable Harry Lennix plays Boyd who is (repeatedly) said to be new to the mysterious operation and seems to care too much about Echo, who he is meant to handle and back up on her engagements. The vast majority of the empathy for Echo is channelled through Boyd and Lennix does a good job of being the father-figure who is uneasy in his role.





Olivia Williams plays Adelle De Witt (rhymes with...) the head of Dollhouse. Her forehead is stamped with the words "Ice Queen" which amazingly fails to make it more obvious or trite. I think her look of constipation is meant to be aloofness and composure but I could be wrong, she may just really need a balti.

Even a genius finds matching trainers to shirts difficult.

Fran Kanz plays Topher, the young, possibly evil genius who gives all of the technobabble exposition. He is very enthusiastic about what the Dollhouse tech can do while not giving much of a crap about the humanity. Kind of a Werner Heisenberg in comfortable shoes.


Laurence Dominic (Reed Diamond) is De Witt's right-hand man and attack dog, he keeps Boyd in order with his mean, analytical dipshittery. Diamond is astoundingly bad, stiff and unconvincing as he poses in mean guy mode. At one point he grabs Boyd's arm in what was meant to be a threatening and domineering manner but instead he looked like someone pleading not to have the shit kicked out of him.
Thamoh Penikett plays Fox Mulder, an agent who is unable to stop his relentless pursuit of the mysterious Dollhouse even when chided by his superiors. Fox is tall and angular with a sculpted six-pack and has a mean high-kick when using a steroid-junky as an allegory for never quitting.


It is difficult to explain how a show with the pedigree of those involved could have a premiere that is so uninspired.
It would be easy to point at interference from the suits upstairs and there is certainly a sense of that in play, but it is almost like watching Spider-Man 3.
Now don't get me wrong, the first episode of Dollhouse is by no means as execrable as Spider-Man 3, but the same sense of someone purposefully making what he has been told to make in order to show how crappy the idea is to begin with seems evident.

I can almost see Joss Whedon thinking "You want a by the numbers opener? I'll give you a damn by the numbers opener! How many over-over-2 shots can you take?" while pointing like an evil monkey.

Venom? I'll give you venom!

Most likely though I am making excuses for someone I hold in very high regard. This was simply not a good example of television from someone who is usually excellent.
We all make mistakes, hopefully the rest of Dollhouse's first season rectifies this one.

Dollhouse: The Foxening

Last night many promo spots were shown on Fox to support Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles and the premiere of Joss Whedon's Dollhouse.
Here's a taster of how Fox is pushing their new Friday night schedule:



Hi my name's Summer Glau, you may remember me as River from Firefly. We all loved that show but since Fox hadn't a clue about what it was or how to market it, it was quickly cancelled.
Now we can't really blame Fox for this, they are only people who make television after all and so therefore are run by executives who can't distinguish a shit from a chocolate muffin.
With that in mind let us give them our full confidence as they switch my show, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to Fridays. Fridays have often been named "The Day Where Shows Go To Die" but Joss Whedon says this time Fox have a different expectation and he's great so I'm sure his show and my show will be fine.
Hey thanks for the exposition Summer (which by the way there'll be plenty of in my brand new show tonight!), and hello to all of you Friday night viewers! My name is Eliza Dushku and as you can see I'm hot, bendy and have to share my clothes with the sensational Ms. Glau.
Those great guys at Fox have realised that although Buffy, Angel and Firefly had a large female fanbase, the best way to grab a good audience on a Friday is for Summer and I to pout in a very forced and uncomfortable way while promising to suck your cock like a golf ball through a hosepipe.
They have realised that all of the Buffy nerds are 14 year old boys who cannot go out on a Friday evening and so we will ensure the continuation of the "Whedonesque" following by making vapid allusions to our breasts and how kicking the acne off your chubby pock-marked faces would be fabulous.





Nicely put Eliza, and hey I love that shirt, you look so tough yet inappropriately cleavaged. Where was I? Oh yes, in another show near it's death.
There are people who ridiculously think Fox executives make these decisions while snorting coke from the aerobicised ass of a prostitute. They then dare courageously to prove they are correct in investing in cheap reality television. I mean who would call them geniuses if they didn't throw a good writer to the wolves in order to point and scream "I told you so!" every few seasons?


Well they do earn the big bucks Summer. And please look where you aim, it is very disconcerting.
So that's us, Terminator and Dollhouse, or as we are being made to sell them: "Robot I'd Like To Fuck" and "Blow-Up Doll House".
We hope you can put down your Yu-Gi-Oh! cards at the same time every Friday to watch our sexy, sexy adventures. I know there will be some talky bits that you won't like and though the dramatic parts might make you wonder why you are not watching the WWE wrestling as usual, just remember we are much hotter.

We'll see you soon, we have to go cry in a corner as we are thrown into the imaginary puddle of semen on the cold stone floor of a non-existent kids' basement.



A review of the first episode of Dollhouse to follow, but my word Fox's promotion is not encouraging for long-term success.

Life

As the mighty Admiral Neck and charismatic Canyon have already stated, there are a lot of new shows about to debut in the Autumn season here in the US of A.


One of them is a show called "Life" in which a cop is wrongly convicted for murder and spends 12 brutal years in prison before being exonerated, receiving a huge amount of cash and being reinstated and promoted to Detective as part of the settlement.


When I first heard of this series I was wondering if it would be a basic procedural with a Prison Break conspiracy arc, which frankly didn't grab me.


Then the prospect of two copper-headed investigative heroes in TV arose as Damian Lewis plays the lead role of Charlie Crews. Lewis was utterly brilliant in Band of Brothers and I've been hypnotised to forget Dreamcatchers, so when I got to watch an advance preview of his new series I was quite hopeful.


The first episode is packed with all the exposition that a TV executive requires and the first case for Crews and his beautiful, tough but troubled partner Dani Reese (played by Sarah Shahi, former NFL cheerleader and The L Word alumni), revolves around the murder of a child.


Crews' Zen philosophy that kept him mostly intact in prison serves to set him apart in the real world as he approaches things from an alternative perspective. Predictably this brings him into conflict with his new partner who herself is trying to put her career back on track after drug issues, hence being lumbered with the partner nobody wants.


We are also introduced to Ted Earley, an ex-con who served time for some creative accounting who was saved by Crews while inside and now handles the Zen Detective's cash. Earley is played by Adam Arkin which is another reason I'm cutting Life some slack.

As the episode progresses the audience is shown that Crews isn't just different because of a paperback book on Zen he read but because he might just be insane.

There are attempts at levity through Crews coming to term with the modern world, mainly to add to Crews' almost childlike sense of wonder as he discovers "the future is now" in more than a philosophical sense. These moments reminded me of Angel and how hilarious David Boreanaz was getting frustrated at his mobile phone. Except Angel was much funnier, but if you've seen Boreanaz dance you know it is unfair to make a comparison.

The case is wrapped up in a way to show Crews knows how things work from both sides of the prison bars and the story arc for the season is mapped out for all to see. And I literally mean there is a visual aid.

Frankly, the procedural element of the show doesn't hold together very well but hopefully that is due to it becoming almost an afterthought due to cramming in as much information for the audience as possible.
Things the audience is to remember:
1) Crews likes to eat fruit.
2) He owns a mansion without any furniture in it (keep an eye out for a cave full of bats in the future).
3) He is NOT GAY (as shown as he bounds upstairs like a puppy chasing a ball whilst following a scantily clad and never to be seen again blonde).
4) He says he is not looking for revenge against those who framed him. Nuh-uh. It wouldn't be Zen. Honest.

This is really a series that will take a few episodes to get up and running but I'll certainly have another look at it when the series begins 26th of September on NBC.

It could go either way, at least it isn't on Fox so it might get a few episodes to find its feet, plus it runs after Heroes on Monday nights and we know that means it will be an instant success and will immediately get renewed.





My wife tells me I lost my memories of something called "Studio 60" along with Dreamcatchers in the aforementioned hypnosis session but I don't know what she's talking about.